Judging others is unproductive and destructive.
Exerting negative energy on them,
takes away from our own incredible possibilities.
When someone tries to bring you down,
take that energy and run with it.
Turning away from negativity and
turning towards possibility
brings about accomplishments, advancement, and pride.
Those unkind actions are temporary.
Don’t make it hard or complicated.
When you dismiss them, you are showing them
that you have no time for their behavior
and that your life is far more important
than anything they have to say.
Let your decision to rise above them
fill you with confidence and contentment.
You are real! You are somebody! You are AMAZING!
personal note: I remember growing up always feeling afraid. I was afraid of people and places and even more afraid of getting into trouble with my parents. I carried a crippling sense of insecurity and because of that, I never realized any potential that I may have had. Possibilities were not an option. I did what I was told and constantly tried to get a nod of approval; but I never even imagined that I could have a dream of my own. Don’t let that happen to you. Even if no one has ever told you to reach for the stars – I am telling you to REACH!! No matter if you are 13 or 33 or 53, there are talents inside you. We all have a special gift. Please don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t.
Every heart beat has a purpose. What is yours? ♡
Why Are People So Mean? ✿
I truly believe that most people are good, really good, but every so often we run into someone who is just nasty. They are miserable and mean and try to bring down anyone who happens to unfortunately step into their path. These occurrences happen everywhere and at every age; but they are especially damaging in your teen years. There you are, dealing with hormones, family, school, and friends and in walks this evil entity that knocks you to your knees.
Why are they mean? Because it makes them feel better about themselves when they pull someone else below them. It really is such a simple theory. We can go on and on about the hundreds of reasons why people are mean when all we really need to know is HOW to deal with it.
I wish I could say that bullying stops after you get out of school, but it doesn’t. The face of the bully changes and their actions may become more sophisticated but the result is the same. The unfortunate truth is; at 13 or 43, you will confront animosity. The secret is: you need to be prepared.
How can you be prepared? Very simply you need to know who you are, what you stand for, and how strong your faith is in yourself. You see, no matter what negativity comes your way, you need to feel secure enough with yourself that their ridiculous behavior is beneath you and not worth your time. We can go over little steps on what to say and how to say it, but in reality the simple fact is; you need to be confident enough in yourself to walk away. If you must say something; “You are not worth my time” is an all inclusive response. You don’t want to get into a verbal war with a bully. They have terrible tempers and your confrontation will escalate.
Taking the high road can sometimes be a lonely journey. Trust me, feeling lonely will only be temporary. Others will see your true character and integrity and will navigate back to you before you know it. Just don’t be afraid. Girls who are mean are trying to cover up their own indiscretions, bad chooses, and insecurities. This is not your problem, don’t allow it to become one.
As far as friends go, please be selective; you really only need one or two good friends. Try to choose girls who have similar likes and interests, morals and standards. A good friendship brings with it a trusted buddy and someone who will have your back when you need them. (note* You need to BE a good friend to have a good friend.)
I would bet that most of the people you know have been bullied at some point in their lives. This treatment didn’t define them; it defined the bully. The same goes for you. I promise, that if you rise above this negative behavior and live with grace and dignity, you will never regret it. Don’t fall for the drama and ignorance of others; it is not worth your time.
One of my favorite quotes is from Gandhi-
“I will never allow anyone to walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”
Keep your mind clear and positive.
Don’t allow others to defeat you.
Define yourself and hold fast to who you really are. ☺
(just a note: If for any reason you feel as though you are in physical danger, PLEASE run screaming to a safe place immediately!)
“Don’t let the opinions of others consume you.”
They have no idea who you are,
where you came from,
or where you are going.
Their words are simply that. . . Words.
You, on the other hand,
are an incredibly unique and precious person.
An individual with energy, talent, beauty, and dreams.
Living a life with passion and love
has far more power than . . words.
“There is a light within all of us -
let yours shine.” ☼
What have I done?
What should I do?
What is going to happen now?
The inner turmoil following a regrettable decision –
✑ disappointing, haunting, agonizing.
Take in a long deep breath.
Own up to your mistake.
Make it right if you can.
Learn from it.
Promise yourself to never cross that line again.
Then. . . . . forgive yourself. ♡
“You can never make a mistake twice.
The second time – is a choice.”
Have you ever been in a relationship where one day you are experiencing total bliss and the next you feel like you were just punched in the stomach? Well, I have and so has almost everyone I know. It is a funny thing: love. When it finally happens, you feel as though your life has just begun. This new feeling of euphoria has you walking on a cloud and you wonder how you ever survived without him all these years. You giggle, you laugh, talk endlessly on the phone. Kissing becomes an obsession and holding each other’s hand becomes perfectly natural. You breathe in the same air, laugh at the same jokes, and share everything from ice cream to your innermost dreams.
There you are, smiling your days away in a state of total bliss, until – Boom – the floor falls out and you are left standing there with a broken heart. He hasn’t necessarily broken up with you or started dating another girl; I’m talking about that first time he insults you and makes you feel terrible about yourself. This could happen in a number of ways from putting you down in front of your friends, standing you up when you had made plans, or telling you he doesn’t like what you are wearing. Although the scenario can derive from numerous ways, the feeling you get afterwards is the same: sadness, hurt, embarrassment, pain, and disappointment.
I know what you are thinking, “Maybe he was just having a bad day”, and yes, he may be, so by all means, everyone deserves a second chance. But there is a reason they call them ‘second chances’. They are not third or fourth chances; they are second.
The beginnings of relationships are the best of times. This is when everything is new and exciting and you are learning everything about each other. You don’t notice their weird quarks, nor do you want to see any bad in them. Your heart is so overwhelmed by this newfound love that your mind blocks out anything that could tarnish this heavenly feeling. Scientifically speaking, your endorphins are at their peak and the logical-thinking side of you (your brain) doesn’t want to loose the high.
Unfortunately, this feeling doesn’t last forever; so if after the ‘second chance’ he hurts you again, it is time to step back, take in a deep breath and re-evaluate the relationship. A separation could be the answer for many reasons, but there are some reasons that are non-negotiable.
Promise yourself that this line will never be crossed NO MATTER how you feel about him. These initial feelings never last forever but when you are in a healthy relationship, they grow into a deeper, more fulfilling, and supportive kind of love. They should NEVER, at any point in the relationship, turn to fear! If they do, GET OUT! Let’s talk about the exit plan. I have found that the most effective, simplest, non-dramatic, and respectful way to end a relationship is to simply WALK AWAY. There are so many situations where you may blame each other, yell, fight, cry, plead, and make ridiculous promises and all this does is make it harder. When you have finally made the decision to move on, you have a few sure fire options that will leave your dignity in tact and your regrets to a minimum. I know you will feel that someone has ripped your heart out but you will heal and if you act like a lady and say as little as possible, you won’t have to deal with embarrassing regrets over something ridiculous you blurted out as you were leaving. Allow yourself some time to heal and work through all those emotions that will be flooding your heart and your mind. They will subside if you allow them to; I promise, I have been there and your heartache really will pass. Continuing to hold on to the memories will only prolong the pain and may cause a scar that will last a lifetime. Don’t allow this to happen.
You have such an exciting and precious life ahead of you and it can be amazing!
BE BRAVE! BE STRONG! You deserve better!
Promise yourself that this line will never be crossed NO MATTER how you feel about him. These initial feelings never last forever but when you are in a healthy relationship, they grow into a deeper, more fulfilling, and supportive kind of love. They should NEVER, at any point in the relationship, turn to fear! If they do, GET OUT!
Let’s talk about the exit plan. I have found that the most effective, simplest, non-dramatic, and respectful way to end a relationship is to simply WALK AWAY. There are so many situations where you may blame each other, yell, fight, cry, plead, and make ridiculous promises and all this does is make it harder. When you have finally made the decision to move on, you have a few sure fire options that will leave your dignity in tact and your regrets to a minimum.
I know you will feel that someone has ripped your heart out but you will heal and if you act like a lady and say as little as possible, you won’t have to deal with embarrassing regrets over something ridiculous you blurted out as you were leaving. Allow yourself some time to heal and work through all those emotions that will be flooding your heart and your mind. They will subside if you allow them to; I promise, I have been there and your heartache really will pass. Continuing to hold on to the memories will only prolong the pain and may cause a scar that will last a lifetime. Don’t allow this to happen.
If you are a young lady, all ages included, I have a few things I’d like to share with you. Actually, I have a hundred things, but since this is my first posting I would like to outline some of my most important thoughts on being a girl. These tips will NEVER fail you! I promise!!! Please let me know if you agree or if you have some tips of your own! I love hearing from you and will respond to all your comments.
- Never try drugs. They will destroy every chance you have to a fulfilling life. To any life, period!
- Never, ever get in a car with anyone, of any age, who has been drinking. Enough said.
- Ashtray breath is NEVER cool! Please don’t smoke and if you do, quit! (I am begging you.) I have seen the inside of a smoker’s lung and it made me throw up. With every cigarette you smoke, you loose an hour of your life. You do the math.
- Dressing sexy to attract boys will only attract the boys that look at boobs and butts. If they are looking at yours, you can bet they are looking at someone else’s when you aren’t around. You can look sexy without looking slutty. The image you project will bring with it an equivalent amount of respect. Raise the bar ladies! You will never regret acting like a lady. Ever!
- Please don’t put down other girls. When you post nasty comments on Facebook, or laugh at a girl in class, and you think you are cool, you’re not. I am talking to you from the other side of youth, these girls will remember every word and you will be haunted for the rest of your life for how badly you made someone feel. Your words can be lethal. Please choose them carefully. “Every time you throw some dirt, you loose a little ground.”
- Show respect and compassion to every one you meet. The type of energy you put out into the world will come back to you two-fold. Karma is unforgiving. If you walk into a room with a light heart and a kind smile, it is almost impossible for others to treat you unkindly and if they do, they aren’t worth your time.
- Live according to your conscious, not necessarily your heart. Your heart will respond to emotion and passion where your conscious will guide you. Regretting a bad choice will last a lifetime, it can also change the direction of your future, but saying no, walking away, doing the right thing will never keep you up at night and you will never have to kick yourself for a bad decision.
- BOYS!! If a boy is trying with all he has to convince you to do something you aren’t’ ready for, he doesn’t care about you. When he gets what he wants he will move on to the next girl. Never let a boy make you feel inferior, stupid, or weak. If he makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, trust yourself and get out. There are hundreds of men in your future, I promise! You don’t need him. Don’t ever allow him to change you and NEVER be alone with a boy who threatens you in any way.
- Embrace the girl in the mirror. When you try to look like everyone else, you loose your unique self. If God intended for us to all look the same, we would. Take it from someone who never looked like anyone else in high school, the thing that makes you different will be the thing that makes you stand out when you get older. All that energy I wasted trying to fit in, I realize now, was a huge waste of time. You are unique for a reason. There is a special gift inside of you; give yourself a chance to grow. Hold your head up, stand straight and tall, allow the world the gift of ‘YOU’. You are loved and will be loved more than you could ever imagine. So let what makes you different shine through. The world is waiting for you!!!
- My GOLDEN RULE: The minute you walk out of your home each day, you become a unique, special, powerful force. Yes, you!! Each and every word, each and every step you take will have a profound affect on every person you see. It is your choice. Will you ignore them? Will you insult them? Will you hurt them? Will you disrespect them? Or will you smile, show compassion, and reach out a helpful hand? Will you speak kind words; will you show interest in them, will you RESPECT them? Don’t worry about what the “IN” crowd is doing. Stand up and stand out! You will reap the rewards of a kind heart a thousand times over! Come on. I know you can do it! I believe in you!!